EID FITR 2009

After bending over the Raya preparation the evening before, we finally welcomed the much awaited day. Here we were finally managing to keep baby Adly still for a second in grandpa's arms.

My brother and I managed a trip back with our families to Sg Baru, Mesjid Tanah, Malacca to visit some relatives on my late father's side. Here we were with my cousin and his family. The children, 7 of them, have grown up now. The older ones are now working and I guess we would not be able to see them more often.

This was the last picture we took with Mak Long, my late mum's sister-in-law, before she passed away on April 27, 2010 (Al-Fatihah) at the MU Hospital in PJ. It therefore makes it rather special. JI just  realised that my cousin, Anita was not in the picture.

READING MY NAME IS RED

This is a murder mystery set during 16th century Istanbul.

Overall it was not an easy read at all. I struggled and stumbled through the initial chapters. However, it got easier as I progressed. I guess that happens as one gets more familiar with the writing style. By the way, the book is a translation and I found some of the choice of words could have been better. Some of the ideas about the art can be quite abstract. Probably it is just me as I have no formal background in such a discipline. Nonetheless, I feel there is an element wanting to stay as pure as before on the one hand....resisting change.... and a progression into change caused by needs and influence of other civilizations such as the Chinese and Franks, on the other hand. At the beginning so much is taken to discuss the art of miniaturism. I wonder if much of it is true in the historical aspect as I sensed much of the depictions in books then were laced with legends more for the pleasure of the elitists who patronised their work.

The book opens with the death of a Elegant Effendi, a master miniaturist whose body was then dumped into a well. 18 chapters on, the murderer, Wednesday, narrates his story. As expected he was the one who wailed the most at the funeral until he pulled himself together before it became obvious. I sensed envy/jealousy is the prime reason apart from other reasons which only those engulfed in the purity of the art and religion would do anything to defend them. But then the war had caused royal funding of the arts to dwindle and the master was forced to look elsewhere to supplement themselves i.e. the pashas.

A very challenging read I must say. It reminded me of books like Anna Kerinina which I never could complete because of names I simply could not remember. The minute details of the art which the writer took the trouble to delve into ...almost to a spiritual level of consciousness. The way the mystery is being solved is so unlike the CSI stuff I am more familiar with. The clues lie in the images themselves. The ending is rather unexpected. Well, you need to read it in order to understand the message of the book. I wouldn't make it so simple for you. Suffer folks!

Now, I am ready for "Istanbul".

"The Court of Gayumarth",

By Sultan Muhammad  Shah Tahmasp Shahnameh.

Above are samples of miniature paintings much described in the book. No wonder many miniaturists went blind in the end.

THOUGHTS

Just passed my 32rd anniversary on 30th July and as I read all the well wishes it finally dawned on me that gee...time have indeed passed by. Flashes of the days gone by came back with rapid intermissions. I recall this response I gave to a friend...that "each year brings new experiences and indeed challenges."

The children were once kids, now they are adults and some of the game rules need revisions. Their daddy was once young and impatient, now he is greying but still impatient, if not more, haha! I have gone on a long, long, lonely road at times, and am still trudging along it. My Endowment Plan as I like to call it.

Flashes of early schooldays when I was almost the only Malay girl in class and the only girl in class during College days which I took as a training ground for much to come. I thank the almighty for that.

I am trying to take my route on a different level too, to add value to life - as what existentialism is about. It is much like Maslow's Theory but like what he later believed, there is more to it than mere self actualization.

BELIEF

While some, including my guru, may say we are what we eat, I am more inclined towards Anton Chekov: Man is what he believes. From them then transcends his actions, attitudes and feelings. Generally we can say that :

Belief + Desires = Action

When we believe in our beliefs, they become something of value i.e. something important and worthy of honour. Our feelings are as important as our desires, hopes and dreams which are all a part of the person we are. They are as a result of our beliefs.

AS such it is imperative that we examine our beliefs especially of important things, to see whether they are justified and true. False beliefs mislead and risk leading to nothing but misery.

I also tend to believe that belief is in a way a mental state. The deeper you believe, the more likely it has the possibility to transcend into reality. Remember the old addage, what you say is your prayer? People have been experiencing the power of the subconscious mind that the phenomenon has been used in various therapies.